MADDSKILLZ Update (Best of November)

MADDSKILLZ Update
Best of November
1SKILLZ Management (1maddskillz@gmail.com)

Quote of the Month: “Yankees suck; Jeter swallows.” Genny Birkner (November 03)

Quote of the Month: “If I was president, I’d get elected on Friday, assassinated on Saturday, buried on Sunday, they go back to work on Monday, if I was president…” Wyclef Jean, President (November 04)

Quote of the Month- “Sometimes life can get you down with your face all in the dirt/Now if you feel that left behind you need to get up and go to church…” OutKast (Big Boi), “Church”(November 05)

Quote of the Month: “Negative people like to gossip. Especially when someone dies, they have to be the first one to report it. ‘Did you hear about Kevin?’ ‘No, I haven’t seen him in ages’. ‘He committed suicide.’ ‘WHAT?’ ‘He took his own life.’ It’s always strange when you hear something like that, because you automatically flashback to your like happiest memory of that person, which makes it even more weird. ‘Kevin? Karaoke Kevin? He knew all the words to the Humpty Dance without even reading the monitor.’ But you can never just walk away from that conversation; you got to ask the weird follow-up… ‘How did he do it?’ ‘Oh it was so weird how he did. He took a rope and tied to the bumper of his car, and then he put the car in neutral, and left it at the top of the hill, and then he tied the rope around himself, and he pulled the car down over him.’ ‘WHAT? Karaoke Kevin? Where did he get so much rope?’ And no one stopped him saying ‘Hey, hey, hey, you look like you intend to pull your own car over yourself. I can’t let you do that’. ‘Did you hear about Linda?’ ‘No I’m still blown away about Kevin.’ ‘She committed suicide.’ ‘WHAT?’ ‘She took her own lifestyle.’ ‘WHAT? What does that even mean? Limbo Linda, the lowest of the low Linda?’ ‘Yeah, and it was really creepy how she did it, she filled a well with acid, and then she got in the bucket, and slowly lowered herself down.’ ‘WHAT? How do you know she slowly lowered herself?’ ‘Well, she videoed it, it’s on YouTube.’” Dane Cook, Saturday Night Live, September 30, 2006. (November 06)

Quote of the Month: “Happy Halloween…you’ve been wearing your mask all year, you finally have it on the right day…” Devin Council (November 07)

Quote of the Month: “Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to repeat it,”George Santayana (1863-1952) (November 08)

Quote of the Month: “The people want more of the MADDSKILLZ Update.” Rob Ricketts. Message received. (November 09)

MADDSKILLZ Update (November 03)

First Thoughts (November 06): In case the title didn’t give it away, you are currently being subjected to the 40th MADDSKILLZ Update. That’s right, 40 Updates dating back to August 1st, 2003, but only about 23 good ones. Not including this one. Actually, this one will be good, nothing like last month though, more on that later. So I want to bring the list back to the MADDSKILLZ Update. Yesterday, on Halloween, I did a prose presentation for my Voice and Interpretation class. My selection was none other than Hansel and Gretel. I did about 5 different voices, and now that it’s over, it was fun. So why exactly did I choose to go along with Hansel and Gretel, instead of something, well, different? Here’s a little known fact, I had Fairy Tale Lit as my Spring Lit elective in 2004, and one of my assignments then was to basically remix a fairy tale. So I turned the Brothers Grimm version of Hansel and Gretel into a ghetto version called…Hansel and Gretel. I just put them in the hood. The father was turned into a retired NBA star (called Godot because he never showed up on the court), the mother was named “spiteful woman”, and the woods were replaced with a corner store. Hansel’s crumbs of bread were really sunflower seeds, and the witch that ran the corner store at night didn’t want to eat children, she just called her “dogs” out to beat the crap out of them. So I’m going to put together a short list of fairy tales, and forgive me if you don’t ever look at your favorite little childhood story the same way:

1. Hansel and Gretel -> Hansel is pretty smart. I mean, he must’ve been looking like Eric Cartman when he stuck that chicken bone through the bars to make the witch think it was his finger. Witch, I know you have poor eyesight, but really, what the hell else could it have been? One thing’s for sure, she didn’t wait for it to get fat after awhile…

2. Rapunzel -> That was a weave. Rapunzel’s hair was the longest weave ever created.

3. Rumpelstiltskin -> Don’t you just hate those chicks that just forget your name after one night?

4. Sleeping Beauty -> What a klutz.

5. Snow White -> I’m wondering if Snow White paid room service, and if she didn’t, how she got out of it. Also, the queen kept asking who was the “fairest in the land.” So the queen must have been cheating.

6. Goldilocks -> I wouldn’t take her out. For one, we’d have to go to three restaurants every damn night. Not to mention she slept around, and then she got caught.

7. Jack and the Beanstalk -> In this day and age, Jack would have sold that cow for something else on the corner. Something that would help him hallucinate that beanstalk.

8. Peter Pan -> He’d grow up and stop snorting Tinkerbelle’s pixie dust if he knew that he’s Michael Jackson’s alter ego.

9. Three Billy Goats Gruff -> After the big Billy goat spiked the troll off the bridge, he left to go to the greener grass with the second Billy goat. But the youngest waited for a minute, stood over the troll, and said as loud as he could, “You got knocked the f’out!”

And 10. Little Red Riding Hood -> Well, those wolves must really like thick forests…

MADDSKILLZ Update (November 04)

FIRST THOUGHTS (November 08): *The MADDSKILLZ Update interrupts your regularly scheduled Daylight Savings Time special to bring you a message from the 1 with the SKILLZ*

“Good evening America and good morning Vietnam. I am the 1 with the SKILLZ, Lawrence Murray. I am running for President of the United States of America as a member of the West Coast party. Because ain’t no party like a West Coast party, because a West Coast party don’t stop. I realize that at the age of 21, I’m technically not supposed to be running for President. However, my campaign has been handing out Sharpies, sticky notes, and lipstick since December, so I’m sure you can do what I’ll be doing- writing my name in. That’s right; the West Coast party is intent on getting a candidate on the ballot. And this year the 1 with the SKILLZ will not only be on the ballot but also, with the help of America, in the White House. And please don’t get angry people; I’m only calling you all America because I don’t know your names individually. We’ve seen over the last month what the main candidates are trying to throw at us. Barack Obama is trying to be the 2008 version of Mays Gilliam! This is scary America. Almost as scary as the name “Barack Obama.” Just admit it America. You’re scared to vote for a man named Barack Obama. I realize it’s not even because he’s black, because if Obama was white and his name was still Barack Obama, you’d be even more scared. I understand this America, which is why I decided before the election to change my name from Osama bin Larry to the more politically correct name Lawrence Murray. This is a change you can believe in. And if you don’t believe it, that’s fine, but I’m still the 1 with the SKILLZ and that will not change. And as far as John McCain goes, I’m not even sure if he’s running for president! Who is really running for President? Is it John McCain? Or is it John McCain’s record? John McCain, or Sarah Palin’s future? John McCain, or General Betray Us? John McCain, or the anthropomorphic offspring of a moose and an elephant? That’s right, anthropomorphic. That means a non-human creature or being that is attributed human characteristics, like Goofy. This ain’t George W. Bush running for President over here. Anyway, based on the debates America, I’m not even sure anymore! To those who question why I do not have a running mate, I’m still single. I can tell you that to have a running mate before a soul mate is not the American thing to do. A wise man told me that you can lose money chasing girls, but you won’t lose girls chasing money. Likewise, you can lose focus on the issues when you chase running mates AND potential soul mates. But if you stay focused on the issues, of which a big issue right now is the economy, you will eventually find a running mate, and maybe even a soul mate. This is why I’m laid back. With my mind on the money and the money on my mind. I can say that my running mate will probably be a midget or Chelsea Clinton, the love child of great politicians Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham Clinton. Joe Biden has said that if Obama gets elected President, he will probably face an international crisis in six months. Well you better not remove me, because with running mates like mine, America will be facing a NATIONAL crisis within six WEEKS. Actually, no matter what candidate you vote for, we’re probably facing a national crisis within six weeks anyway. Just being honest America. Voting for me would be better than voting for Ralph Nader or any other third-party candidate. You see, Nader knows he can’t win the election! He just wants enough percentage of the votes so that Obama or McCain will focus on his issues. Well, in the West Coast party we call this tactic the “sacrifice fly”, like in baseball. In other words, you know you’re not scoring, but you hope to get the ball just high enough to get your man on third base! Not me America. We’re losing and we have two outs. I’m swinging for homeruns. Now I understand there are questions about my experience. As I mentioned before, John McCain is using his record to run for president. Well, I searched everywhere for John McCain’s record. I looked everywhere records were sold, I looked on iTunes, YouTube, and in Billboard magazine, f.y.e., Wal-Mart, Scratch’s Old School Record Shop on 9th and 24th Avenue, and I couldn’t find his anywhere. I asked bootleggers about John McCain’s record, and they looked at me like I was crazy. Fact of the matter is, America, John McCain has no record! Lawrence Murray has a record though! It’s called Self-Titled Album and is available for public viewing atwww.youtube.com/1maddskillz. There hasn’t been a President with a record since Eric B. in Paid in Full. And that was a great record. Another thing that I had to look into is John McCain and Sarah Palin’s extensive use of the term “Maverick”. First of all, the Dallas Mavericks opened their season this past Thursday night, and not only did they lose to the Houston Rockets, McCain and Palin didn’t even get in the game! This is unacceptable America. We should have a better representative of the White House than the Dallas Mavericks. And don’t think that you are getting the best basketball player in Obama. From what I can tell, Obama has no right hand, so I’d like to see him score on me! Obama has also been criticized for not reaching over party lines, something that John McCain says that he has done and will continue to do. As President, I promise you America that I will not only reach over party lines; I will step over them over and over again. Because that’s what we need in Washington; a habitual line-stepper. I’ll step over the lines so much; you would think I had a piece of chalk everywhere I go, just so I can draw lines. I’ll step over the lines so much; you’d think I was playing hopscotch. I don’t give a damn. And go ahead America, talk to my friends. Obama is becoming a victim of the people he knows such as Rev. Jeremiah Wright and William Ayers of the Weather Underground. Obama will say he won’t attack McCain, but we know it’s because, as Chris Rock said in his HBO special Kill the Messenger, all of McCain’s friends are dead! Well the Famed Posse won’t lie to you. Justin the Franchize, Rob the Legend, and the Brother Dwight will tell you the same thing: 1SKILLZ ain’t nothing to mess with. As far as foreign policy goes, I should be fine. I’ve been to Spain, the Brother Dwight is in England, and, most importantly, I know how to use Google Earth. I’ll take care of you America, no matter who you are. Whether you’re Joe the Plumber or Joe Schmo, John Doe or Jane Doe, Joe Six-pack or Big Fat Man, MADDSKILLZ is coming at ya. I have many other issues I could be getting to, but I didn’t buy enough time to share them all with you. After all, I’m still paying tuition. I leave you with this America. Voting is like going to the bathroom. They’ll give you privacy, and it’s your business. You might not think much of it, but you better do it or you’ll crap your draws. So stop walking with skid marks, go to the bathroom, and vote for me, Lawrence Murray of the West Coast party. Because no one has fresh draws to give you in this economy. Good night America. And good morning Vietnam.”

MADDSKILLZ Update (November 05)

– (November 03) I’m going to get this procrastinating out of my system. I am so good at it though…

– (November 04) I think last year I joked it would be 12 years, not 12 months, that the Red Sox will get their chance at a title (bet Jane, Jordane, Genny, Caroline, other New England people didn’t like that one). Well, I’m happy they won, and in historic, inspirational fashion. But now that they have, I have this message for you Boston…kindly shut up now about your longsuffering. You have your World Series, your football team has won 2 of the last three Super Bowls, your basketball team has the most titles of any other franchise. It’s Philly’s time to whine and shine as the most cursed sports city (screw Chicago). If the Eagles don’t win the title this year, I’m moving. (thinking about it, even if they do win, I should be moving…)

– (November 05) My cell phone, my very first one that I got 20 months ago, went through a lot this past month. First, after a flag football game, I misplaced my phone. I figured out it had been separated from me around 5PM that Thursday night. No panic, just call it, it might be in the room. Wasn’t in the room. Ok, maybe I left it in the car I was in. Except it wasn’t there. Deep breath. Ok, maybe I left it on the flag football field, about a mile from campus. But I needed to eat, and figure out how to get over there. It got pitch dark by 8:45PM, the time the bus would come. I was a little concerned. That concern went away when I remembered that I’m in CALIFORNIA, PENNSYLVANIA. So I packed my ultra deep flashlight, donned the gloves, and searched the field. I went right past the “No Trespassing” gate, searched the field, and all I found was a dursty white bandana. I tried to take a deep breath, but I almost choked. So I was like, maybe one of the flag football officials picked it up. You know that wasn’t the case. So I reported the phone missing, lost, stolen, abducted, whatever. After five days, I gave up on it and bought myself a room phone, where I can receive any call but without a calling card can’t make calls outside Cal U. I treated the situation like it was 1995, an ancient time where cell phones were big and ugly and caused cancer and people didn’t use them. This would mark the third time in 12 months that something retarded happened to my cell phone (froze last October, broke in my pocket this past August, and now it’s lost)…

– (November 06) … The ICF has given me way too much material in this MADDSKILLZ Update ever since I started working there 9 months ago. I don’t like talking about work, I tell my mom that all the time. However, it is becoming clearer to me that bossman either doesn’t have a life, or he’s been working in a basement all his life with no human contact or anything else that resembles the finer things in life. It is obvious that I’m going towards the latter. He expects his workers to not get sick, to not talk to people, to move any part of your body a maximum of 14 times an hour without falling asleep. I have a new friend Simchah, and the only reason we know each other is because our friend Sam tried to help her out. See, she works at the ICF, but had to go home for personal reasons. Only problem is, you could have your vertebrae broken by Frankenstein’s monster, you still wouldn’t be excused. Now if this was the only thing that happened this month, you wouldn’t hear about it here. But of course, bossman sees me talking to two of my roommates towards the end of my shift, Shawn and Coop. I swear as soon as he saw it he went into his little shack/office and was like “dammit, what’s this person’s name…yes, Mr. Murray”, and sent me an e-mail. He could’ve just told me, but that would have required a special exception that he, the boss man that makes up all the “ICF guidelines”, wasn’t humanely capable of coming through upon. So now, I’m trying to stay on my best behavior, but doing that AND staying awake has become the hardest part of working at the ICF.

– (November 07) I was talking to Melitza about how people always get tired enough to sleep in some classes, and I developed another great terrible idea. There should always, at some point of every day, in every level of education (college, high school, middle school, lower school, preschool) be a designated naptime. Now we are in college, and it is difficult to be taken serious if you just have “naptime”. This is why I have developed the idea of NapClass. That’s right, NapClass (ZZZ 100). You go into a room, and the lights are dim, the chairs are just comfortable enough to take notes and go to sleep in, and a black and white video of the most draining professors at your college plays on the screen. I don’t know about the rest of you all, but I’m taking this class next semester. In fact, I may take it five times a week.

– (November 08) Was that pigs I saw flying, or did the Philadelphia Phillies win the World Series?! As none of you remember, I have never been a Phillies fan, and even when they made the playoffs last year for the first time in 15 years, I chose to ignore them completely because they were unceremoniously swept by the Colorado Rockies. When they made the playoffs this year (thank you Mr. Met, you can remove your fingers from your throat now), I paid no attention. But then they won a playoff game. Then a playoff series. Then they beat Manny Ramirez and the Los Angeles Dodgers to get to the World Series. It was around this time where I was fighting between “the Phillies are going to add to the Curse of Billy Penn” and “Holy crap the Phillies are in the World Series!” The Brother Dwight was observing these events from across the pond, and determined that win or lose; the city of Philadelphia will be subject to rioting. I immediately came to the conclusion that I naturally evolved into a fan once they beat the Tampa Bay Rays in Game 1 of the World Series. For those who don’t remember, the Backstreet Boys sung the national anthem before Game 1, and I thought to myself “if there is a baseball god, the Rays shall surely pay for this.” The Phillies won that game, and then Game 3 and 4. But then that trick Mother Nature teased the city of Philly with rain in Game 5 (“The Phillies about to win the World Series?! RAIN!”). For a team playing for FOUR teams (Phillies, as well as Flyers, 76ers, and Eagles), I had to watch every pitch of the World Series. My Dad, a straight-up Philadelphia sports hater, said that God would not allow a Philadelphia team to win a title as long as the city was the way it was. I always got heated when he said that, but for a city that hadn’t won a major sports championship since 1983, I never had a comeback. I can’t call myself a straight-up 76ers/Eagles/Phillies/Flyers fan, but I am a Philadelphian. Meaning, I can ignore them if I want; everything they do is a part of me. So when they got that last out, I was on the phone with Rob the Legend. I promptly lost my damn mind. I called home just to shout to my dad over my phone…I felt like that kid in Angels in the Outfield. I ran around the lots TWICE. The natural evolution of a fan I guess. Now Philly will still have its problems, and it might be another damn 25 years before we win anything again, but I’ll never forget this one! By the way, judging by this video, the Brother Dwight was correct (search YouTube for Phillies bottle).

– (November 09) In South Florida there has been a rise in the illegal horse meat market. Yes, horses are being used for more than glue. No, a recipe for thoroughbred cookies has not been confirmed as of yet. Police have found more butchered horse carcasses on the streets of Miami than in any other year, which you would think would make for a very interesting episode of CSI: Miami.

– (November 08) Who’s listening when no one’s talking?

– (November 07) Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry (he of the nine baby mommas) is facing a potential year-long suspension for testing positive for marijuana. This comes in the same month that a pro-marijuana group in Denver advocated the return of running back Ricky Williams (he of the multiple marijuana suspensions) to play for the Broncos. I’m telling you, there is no city in the United States that lives up its nickname like the Mile High City.

– (November 07) More news from Denver, which is quickly becoming a go to city for the MADDSKILLZ Update without even mentioning the Rockies: The Denver Public School District has been sending home student health reports in an effort to combat childhood obesity. One mother complained, saying her daughter is “big boned” and that the school district shouldn’t inform kids that they are indeed overweight. I guess that is a legitimate concern. But if her daughter is already big boned, what will she say if her daughter grows into those big bones?! “You won’t believe this, but she’s not obese! Her bones got bigger, seriously!”

– (November 06) So, mi numero de teléfono es dos-seis-siete-ocho-cero-ocho-cero-cinco-seis-cuatro. Of course in English that means “do not answer phone calls from this number, press reject.”

– (November 06) Not to stay on topic, but me and my friend Chelsey (but mostly me) have picked up on a little technique people use that I like to call “The Look Off”. Now I keep my head up, so I try to talk to a lot of girls that I’ve probably already worn out my welcome with (that would be about, in theory, 93 % of the females I’ve met since 1998. I did an experiment and came up with that figure). Basically, I could have a class with someone, talk all the time for a few months almost, and a couple of months later, you see them, but they see you and go “not this bastard”. They prepare for “The Look Off”, but I see it coming, and I stare off too. But then I make eye contact, and the girl is too scared to keep looking off and is surprised to see you, like you climbed out of the sewer behind her a minute ago. In a way though, it is helpful to me when certain females employ the use of “The Look Off”, because I can then add that person to that 93 %…

– (November 05) I had a conversation with one of my favorite people Aimee one day, and for the most part I came to this conclusion: All they do in high school is prepare you for college. And all they do in college is prepare you for life. Unless you plan on going to graduate school.

– (November 05) Ok here’s the big thing, as the new NBA season kicks off: the new dress code. Now I don’t think it’s a bad idea to have ballers dress like pimps, as my man Jon Dellum likes to do anyway. And there is nothing wrong with being a professional and dressing like it. But the concept, to put it plainly and in Tim Duncan’s words, is “basically retarded”. What the league is trying to do is change the way people view the league and to develop a better reputation. That, ladies and gentleman, is BS. The way someone dresses may change the way a person looks at a person. But come on, let’s be real, it’s the NBA! So now that they’re wearing suit jackets and collars, everything is all right? You can stab somebody in a bar and spit on the man’s lady, but you better have a suit on while doing it! You can have kids in 13 NBA cities, but that was a nice tie you had on! You have weed in the backseat and a gun in the glove compartment? I would have never suspected, not with those slick gators on! Look, giving AI a makeover isn’t going to change the man, no matter how much he thinks it will. And the league will police their new brainchild, you better believe that… “What was that? Jesus was around his neck? In silver?! AND he was wearing a throwback? Ohhh no, that’s got to go right now…next thing you know he’ll be trying to rap and start fighting people”!

– (November 06) My roommate Gerald has Scooby-Doo all over his room, and I basically came with a conclusion that probably belongs in the First Thoughts of this Update. Call it a second thought if you want to, but Scooby-Doo was a black man. The cartoon wouldn’t be so attractive to children if this was made more obvious, but being in Gerald’s room has helped me conclude this. I call it good marketing to make him a dog, but let’s be real, the dog talked like Dikembe Mutumbo, got high like Snoop Dogg, always sat in the back of the van, and was still the best dancer on the whole show (especially if you saw Velma’s two-step). Now make your case.

– (November 07) Former Vice-President and 2000 Democrat Presidential candidate Al Gore won a share of the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to increase the awareness of global warming. It’s nice that the guy who was almost elected President seven years ago gets the Nobel Peace Prize, but how far out of consideration for the Nobel Peace Prize is the guy who actually was elected President?

– (November 08) I covered a College Republicans versus College Democrats student debate for my journalism class this month, and I’m wondering if there is a class at Cal U that teaches political sarcasm…

– (November 09) I’ve commented often in the past about ghetto names and celebrity names. As much as I make fun of them, I’m starting to think there is real value in the uniqueness of them! Tell me who you’re going to remember more: Dave Jones or Seven Benjamin? Okay that’s cheating … Mary Williams or Wikipedia Fletcher? No, that’s just ridiculous … Ravonte Smith or Cruella Davis? As a matter of fact, maybe those unique names are a bit of a problem … But I’m not giving up on this theory! I just need to talk to some parents and find out if their intention is to give their kids a name that will stand out and make them special, or is it a thinly veiled threat that they better not screw up else everyone knows their name?

– (November 09) Last month I bought up a point where there is not a position in the workplace for “getting fired to get hired” (for those individuals who expect to keep their jobs after cussing their employers out). But maybe there should be a position like that! The “Firing Guy” would have a very simple task: receive all of the profane threats, irrational comments, unrealistic requests, and bullsmack complaints from underling employees and in turn, deliver them to the boss in the most unprofessional and inappropriate fashion. The Firing Guy must be a true professional in what he does. If his obscene rants are not enough to get the boss emotionally moved to fire him on the spot, then the Firing Guy has failed (and he might get fired anyway). The organizational benefit of the Firing Guy is to actually improve morale and relations in the workplace. It works both ways: employees will have a place to vent without risking their jobs, while employers get to hear the complaints, fire the Firing Guy, make appropriate adjustments after taking criticism as constructively as possible, then rehire the Firing Guy the following morning! That’s good money right there. And if this sounds a lot like the job description of a court jester, then that probably shouldn’t be a coincidence.

– (November 05) There have been so many hurricanes this year that they’re going to have to start going to Overbrook to name hurricanes next year…”Hurricane Jamarcus is about to slam right into South Beach, but we have to keep an eye on Hurricane Keyonte, and we’re just praying that LaTeasha doesn’t become a massive Hurricane as it forms in the Atlantic Ocean, soon to be named the Anterryious Ocean.”

– (November 06) Everyone knows about Slow Jams, but if you speed them up, are they Fast Jams?

– (November 07) …This case has been examined in depth, and one of the recurring segments of the MADDSKILLZ Update, “Fun With Lyrics”, obtained a copy of the questionnaire that T.I. took during his attempted purchase of firearms: What do you plan to do with these firearms? (Bring Em Out, Bring Em Out, Bring Em Out, Bring Em Out) Will you be sharing your firearms? (Why You Wanna know?) Ok, are there any special effects that you need your firearms to perform? (As long as Big Things are Poppin’ I’ll be fine) How many firearms do you intend to purchase today? (24) That just about completes your purchase sir. Oh, and I had to ask about the new movie coming out. (What You Know about that?) Well is Jay-Z going to be in American Gangster w… and this is about the time T.I. got arrested.

– (November 08) Good things come to those who wait. Better things come to those who just take it.

– (November 05) How good it is to NOT be in Philly right now. SEPTA, the bus service in Philly, went on strike. They shut the whole damn system down, bus, trolley, subway, EVERYTHING. Now, that’s bad enough, but anyone who rides anything knows how incredibly bad SEPTA is when they actually are running. They have bad service, and only the city of San Diego has fares as high as the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transit Authority. Their slogan for the past ten years just about has been “serious about change”. At least they admit they know they need to change some things up, but damn!

– (November 09) I don’t want anyone to fall in love with me; Aerosmith told me that falling in love is hard on the knees! Seriously, falling hurts man. I believe in falling OUT of love, but falling in it? That’s not what it feels like to me. Plus, it’s too easy to fall, just ask women in six inch heels. They probably fall in love all the time. No, I don’t fall in love. I’d rather fly in love. Get off the ground and grow higher in it, instead of trying to scuba dive in it and hope not to drown. Of course, flying in love has its obvious risks. The altitude can get uncomfortable and it takes some getting used to, not to mention you can get clipped and start falling. But I equate being in love to being on cloud nine sometimes. But falling in love? That sounds like a reluctant reaction, as if it’s meant to be fought. But even then, “in a sky full of people, only some want to fly. Isn’t that crazy?”

MADDSKILLZ Update (November 06)

And the last word… (November 03)

This is a great month. I have to work harder and play meaningful Basketball games. I will be a player this year, believe that. I also have to work on a Ludacris impression for some show. Should be a fun month. And nothing happened on Halloween…Isn’t that a good thing? Besides the millions of cavities taking root in 3, 2, 1…

That Would Mark The End Of This Month’s Update. Happy Thanksgiving and Mail Me Something If You Can…

MADDSKILLZ Update (November 07)

ONE SHOT (November 09): I GOT MY LICENSE! I GOT MY LICENSE! I GOT MY LICENSE! Happy Thanksgiving! I GOT MY LICENSE!

MADDSKILLZ Update (November 08)

This has been a MADDSKILLZ publication. But you can give a Benjamin and we’ll talk.
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. What? This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Why? This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Who? This has been a MA…
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Yes, the surgeon is female.
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Game, Score, Win, Loser.
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Now available on Channel Zero.
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Peace to 1983!
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. My-my-my solitaire, my solitaire face.

MADDSKILLZ Update (November 09)