Why We Hate the Lakers, and the NBA’s Final Four

I’m going to try and make this short and sweet, like the Dallas Mavericks’ sweep against the Los Angeles Lakers that was completed on Mother’s Day.

The Last Season. For real this time.

Now, I picked the Los Angeles Lakers to win the title this year at the beginning of the season and stayed with this prediction to begin the playoffs.  I’m not a Lakers fan at all.  Quite frankly, they’re among my five least favorite sports teams.  Mostly because of the Shaq/Kobe years and their never-ending cat fights.  But mainly because Kobe and the Lakers are pretty much just evil.

If this guy could play in the NBA, it would be for the Lakers only. Never mind the green.

But evil is acceptable when you win championships.  That isn’t a rhetorical question, or even a sarcastic one.  It is basic sports law.  If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying!  And just like that team that tries to embarrass you when they blow you out, the best way to stop that is to, well, beat them.  And for two years, no one could beat the Lakers, which earned my respect at least.  It also gave the world this:

Yeah.  The Lakers took more time than expected to defeat the New Orleans Hornets in six games, but they were still expected to defeat the Dallas Mavericks.  But the Lakers had a supreme meltdown … in a way that only the Lakers can do.  Blowing a lead in Game 1 is one thing.  I actually went to Game 2 at the Staples Center, and it resulted in a loss, along with a Game 3 suspension for Artest for clotheslining diminutive Mavericks backup point guard J.J. Barea.

And you thought that wrestling was irrelevant to this article.

The Lakers blew another lead in Game 3, their first in Dallas, and everyone knew that their season would end at the hands of the Dallas Mavericks by time Game 4 started.  The Lakers were in an 0-3 hole.  Kobe was too banged up to get to the paint consistently, and never had enough charisma to lead his team through adversity.  Pau Gasol became an ice cream pillow and may have let his personal life block his mentality (RE: Kobe Bryant, Shannon Brown).  Derek Fisher was still smoking from being torched by Chris Paul.  Andrew Bynum was complaining about not getting the ball (valid) and because no one else was listening to him (great leadership…NOT), he let the media know about the locker room “trust issues” (valid, but probably not the best outlet).  Steve Blake played so bad that Lakers fans actually clamored for Jordan Farmar.  And Lamar Odom was still married.

Like Ke$ha, Khloe Kardashian is NOT a performing enhancing drug.

But even with all of that, the Lakers found a new way to disrespect, embarrass, and outrage in Game 4.  They let the Mavericks bench (namely, Jason Terry and Peja Stojakovic) shoot threes all day and the Lakers were done by halftime.  But when you have little class, the scoreboard can make you do things like this:

And…

Bynum knocking Barea out of the sky. This would have been a "message" if the Mavs hadn't already knocked the Lakers out of the playoffs.

It’s obvious that Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum weren’t interested in seeing Phil Jackson off.  Look, if you are a Lakers fan, I expect you to stand by your team, just like Vanessa stood by her man.

RE: not a championship ring.

But please, do not excuse your wack team of their EARNED haters.  Teams do not just get heated and start throwing cheap shots.  That is inexcusable, and it’s a Laker tradition.  Isn’t that right Derek Fisher?

That’s right.  It’s one thing to go out graciously.  But when you go out like fools, you deserve all the smack coming.  The only question now is, who should be shipped out this year, Kobe?

I guess this is still better than "The Decision".

Alright, enough about the champs to chumps part of this article.  There are now four worthy participants remaining in the playoffs.  The Chicago Bulls and Miami Heat will battle for the Eastern Conference title, while the Dallas Mavericks have waited as long as possible for the Oklahoma City Thunder.

In the East, the Bulls haven’t lost to the Heat all season.  The Heat looked like a team that won its championship already this postseason over the Boston Celtics.  Of course, seeing Lakers fans hate on the Heat and LeBron James for joining Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade is hypocrisy (see Malone, Payton, 2003), but I say Bulls in 6 due to the Heat’s grand idea of starting PG Mike Bibby against the MVP of the league, Derrick Rose.

In the West, the Mavs are rested (in case you haven’t been reading the first 600 words of this article) while the Thunder had to go through hell (in the form of three overtimes and seven games) and high water (…literally, unfortunately) to outlast the Memphis Grizzlies.  But the Thunder are a young team with fresh, healthy legs, and PG Russell Westbrook might have gained some awareness points to add to his speed and skill.  Plus, who’s guarding Kevin Durant?  I’ll say Oklahoma City in 6 due to the Thunder having a tight-knit team lead by good teammates.

And as for Los Angeles?  I’d be more excited for the Clippers than the Lakers.  Get ready for the Blake Show!

Please, nobody tell Blake Griffin that Donald Sterling owns the Clippers.

-1SKILLZ