MADDSKILLZ Update (Best of February)

MADDSKILLZ Update
Best of February
1SKILLZ Management (1maddskillz@gmail.com)

Quote of the Month- “What?? No update for February?? I am disappointed…” Caroleen Verly (February 04)

Quote of the Month- “I think last year I joked it would be 12 years, not 12 months, that the Red Sox will get their chance at a title (bet Jane, Jordan, Genny, Caroline, other New England people didn’t like that one). Well, I’m happy they won, and in historic, inspirational fashion. But now that they have, I have this message for you Boston…kindly shut up now about your longsuffering. You have your World Series, your football team has won 2 of the last three Super Bowls, and your basketball team has the most titles of any other franchise. It’s Philly’s time to whine and shine as the most cursed sports city (screw Chicago). If the Eagles don’t win the title this year, I’m moving. (thinking about it, even if they do win, I should be moving…)” Lawrence Murray, MADDSKILLZ Update (November 04)(February 05)

Quote of the Month: “…February (Valentine’s Day, where everyone thinks they’re in love), March (St. Patrick’s Day, where everyone figures out Valentine’s Day was overrated and they get drunk and have a one-night stand)…” MADDSKILLZ Update (August 04) (February 06)

Quote of the Month- “A young man sits…he thinks…he has no mood, and as he sits, he thinks…and complexity ensues.” Jon Dellum, “Complexity Ensues” (February 07)

Quote of the Month: “I’m married to myself so weirdoes like you can find me…” Jessica Hallager, AKA Weird Two/Too, explaining why she was married to another one of her Facebook profiles (February 08)

Quote of the Month: “Yo Lawrence you know you my boy and all but there is no way in the world the Steelers will finish last in the division … are you going crazy… they will win the their division easily and if they don’t mark my words I’ll do a whole episode of Spoony Talk dedicated to Maddskillz Updates,”Ronald Taylor aka Spoon, a day after the August 08 MADDSKILLZ Update. I’d say my Steelers season prediction this year was only slightly worse than the one in 2006 that had the Steelers going 16-0 (but none of y’all remember that one!) (February 09)

Quote of the Month: “Pants on the ground! Pants on the ground! Looking like a fool with yo’ pants on the ground – with the gold in yo’ mouth, hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground! Call yo’self a cool cat, looking like a fool! Walking downtown with yo’ pants on the ground, get it up! Hey! Get your pants off the ground! Looking like a fool! Walking, talking with yo’ pants on the ground! Get it up! Hey! Get these pants off the ground! Looking like a fool with yo’ pants on the ground! …” General Larry Platt on American Idol. Still awaiting a response from Lil Wayne before he heads off to Rikers for the year … Still waiting … (February 2010)

First Thoughts (February 06) I’m back with the MADDSKILLZ Update, the February 2006 version. I hope everyone enjoyed last month’s Update, I might have to print that out in acid free paper one day. Anyway, I work hard for the money, and as a result I feel like crap. I need to spend at least 24 hours away from a gymnasium, and I guess the MADDSKILLZ Update will keep me occupied. Also keeping me occupied are the five new classes I’m taking. I mentioned that I did a decent job last semester, but for the most part all that is old news. So here are my takes on the new semester:

COM105 (Survey of Radio, Film, and TV): No comment… I couldn’t stay awake in class today; neither could about 70 other people. But the book is really nice, one of those books that you feel really bad about when you sell it back to the bookstore.

COM142 (Video Production I): Carter looks like Paul Giamatti! Seriously though, the syllabus is 12 pages long, need I say more?

HON250 (Honors Composition II): We do little more than write a 10-15 page research paper. Of course my experience with this teacher got me so mad when I was home that I wanted to do a stand-up just to release my animosity. We’re cool for now though…

THE100 (Intro to Theatre): Now this guy looks like a heavyset balding Steve Carell with glasses (please, no 40 year old virgin jokes). But here’s the thing…this guy is teaching a theater class. He’s only acted once EVER. He’s a lighting technician, but he was quick to point out that he knows plenty about theatre from his perspective. You know what, I believe him…except that a lighting technician teaching a theatre class makes about as much sense as hiring a kicker to coach a football team.

HIS217 (African American History): I wonder how much work I’ll have to this month…think about it.

First Thoughts (February 07): Please tell me you saw last month’s update. It was the perfect setup to this update. You don’t understand. Or maybe you do, and you need a reminder. So here’s the refresher:

This will come up more again in next month’s update, so pay attention now. Tony Romo started the season as the Dallas Cowboys little-known, unheralded backup quarterback. He got his chance to start, looked good, might have saved the Cowboys’ season that was going nowhere fast with Drew Bledsoe at quarterback. He makes the Pro Bowl. He then gets linked to such Southern stars as Jessica Simpson (unofficial) and Carrie Underwood (official!). However, his game has suffered in December. The problem? Romo suffers from False Player Reputation. More on this as it develops…or next month.

Now you can forget about the part in last month’s update where I said the Cowboys would be the Super Bowl Champions. We aren’t here to discuss my shortcomings in the world of prognostication; that was last month (screw the Cowboys by the way). The point here is that Tony Romo was already feeling the effects of False Player Reputation. He had led his team to victory over the Seattle Seahawks. All he had to do was the thing that he is most experienced with as a member of the Dallas Cowboys: hold the football. That’s all he had to do, and he caught the snap, and he thought about what he was going to tell Carrie Underwood after the victory…and in that split second he was no longer the holder or the winning quarterback. He was just another victim of False Player Reputation. Now to further explain what False Player Reputation is, we go back to the very first season of the MADDSKILLZ Update, the February 04 Update:

You’re around your teammates in a road game. You’re watching another game, just chillin out, getting focused, when some semi-attractive girls come your way. You know, the girls that act and look hot, but you aren’t even thinking about hooking up. You talk to them, your teammates see you, and they call you a player immediately. Is this your situation? Are you a victim of “False Player Reputation?” If so, shut up…I got 99 problems but that’s not one.

I wrote this back when I was chilling with such crazy teammates as Kristoffer Jones, David Siegel, twin (Parker and Brennan), and E. Wass. It was a road game at Episcopal I believe. And they were straight up drawlin. We lost that game by the way. Anyways there are many victims of False Player Reputation. Those who don’t want to be a player, and don’t have the weight to crush a lot either. Those who are good at talking to people, but that’s it. The father figures, the confidants. You have so many platonic friends that outsiders have to call you a player. Is there a solution? Where do the victims go to? Well the Player’s Club has a special 7 Step program that is just being introduced via the MADDSKILLZ Update. Here are the seven steps:

ONE: Admit you have a problem with False Player Reputation.

TWO: Keep reminding yourself that you have False Player Reputation.

THREE: Reach out to others who have the same problem with False Player Reputation as you.

FOUR: Call your pops.

FIVE: Realize that you can never have too many friends, unless they are all the same.

SIX: Platonic friends are all the same and are as valuable as a stamp collection. Keep thinking about what this might mean.

SEVEN: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Well folks, this has been a small infomercial on False Player Reputation. I believe it has a good place in the February 07 Update, don’t you? On to my show…

-With SAT’s still on my mind, I have another analogy prepared to help me and others with their SAT preparation and any other test: “If you want to pass a Lit test, read a book. If you want to pass a History Test, talk about your grandma. And if you want to pass a Chemistry test, be on chemicals all day.” (February 04)

-Finally, to end Skill demonstration Month, I did a rather camouflaged stand-up at January Bell Rock (camouflaged because I had the “Still D.R.E.” demo track in the background and I played it as if I was introducing THRILLER). Now, you may have seen my jabs at our beloved Student Council for my desire to turn an assembly inside out, but with my stand-up, it was my show (at least until Tom and Zack processed dairy products during their infamous milk chugging contest). So to recap for my friend Nappy Gilmore in Detroit: News/Deon Mason (reports in riots, reports in mudslides, reports during Hurricane Kwame), The Black Crash Test Dummy, and the horror movie on the set of Lower Merion starring Black actors (i.e., there would be no movie past five minutes). By the way, this was just a performance…I know that the first Crash Test Dummy wasn’t Black…it was probably gray or something. (February 05)

-I went to buy my mom a birthday card today, and because I’m a procrastinator she won’t get it until after her birthday Friday. She knows I love her (and that I have a lot of priorities that I take a while to get around to). Anyway I also intended to buy a Valentine’s Day card, but I held off for now, probably the first time I didn’t buy more than one card in the last month and a half. For one, I needed the 5 dollars. And two, I don’t know what I’d do with a damn Valentine’s Day card just yet. All I can say is, only one person is getting a card (and anything else) from me, this isn’t Christmas. Or Hanukkah. Or Kwanzaa. (February 06)

-February is Black History Month. This is nice. But we need more. History is a great subject, but we can do more than look back with 28 days. I mean, we can look back for maybe 10 days. But then let’s look at the present for the next 9 days. It would then be Black Present Month. Then for the last 9 days, you look forward: Black Future Month. And we don’t have to just study the History. We can assess the Math, Literature, and Science too! We can even have Black Criminal Justice Month. And it doesn’t have to be Black History Month, it can be Green History Month-No, never mind that’s pushing it. It has to be Black History Month. You can only celebrate so much in 28 days. (February 07)

-I turned 21 4 weeks ago, and I spent the day in Times Square. I wanted to at least have the FAMED posse for the trip (Justin the FRANCHIZE, Rob the LEGEND, and the Brother Dwight) but Justin was already back in school, Rob’s dad’s birthday is the same day as mine, and Dwight was going to Vermont. I was going to let anyone roll with me, but no one takes me up on offers that I put out. My mom was going to come, but she let me go alone. It was all good, because I like rolling by myself. After all, I’m plenty used to it. I got to New York and the first place I went was Red Lobster. Met this waitress from Queens, she wanted me to participate in something that was going on the next day. Talk about short notice. I was thinking about it too. Or at least I gave the impression that I was – there was no way I was going to be in New York after the night. Eventually I went to NBC Studios at Rockefeller Center and got a tour of the place. It was the exact same tour that I participated in back in December 2001, but I wasn’t a Radio/Television major who writes a monthly newsletter every month back then. I didn’t even watch Saturday Night Live back then; it was after my first trip that I started watching it. The only bad part about being in Rockefeller Center was that my struggles with metal-detecting technology continued. I was in front of the tour line before we got to a metal detector. I must’ve gone through the “gates of lethal protection” a half dozen times before they let me join the back of the line! Before I left I had dinner at Dave and Buster’s at the bar. The guy at the door almost had me leaving, because he checked my ID, saw that it was my 21st birthday, and said that because I just turned 21 I couldn’t go to the bar. I believed him too, like a true lemonhead. The guy let me in after he knew he caught me. My best birthday ever, and of course, I didn’t need any alcohol! (February 08)

-I have a recreation and leisure class this semester, and one of the things we talk about is happiness. As in, who is happy in this world, and why? What can make you happy? Call me crazy, but I think nudity makes people happy. Think about it. Nobody is angry or sad when in the nude! And if you ran outside right now with no clothes on, you’d have to be a happy person to do that. So that’s my advice for this month: if you aren’t feeling happy, it’s probably because you’re wearing too much. (February 09)

–So you mean to tell me that NBC learned NOTHING from their botched transition from Johnny Carson to Jay Leno in 1992-1993 that cost them David Letterman?! What in the hell is wrong with them?!? I was mad at Jay Leno for the fact that he’s back hosting The Tonight Show (ultimately costing the network Conan O’Brien), but Joshua engaged me in a moment of enlightenment; now I almost feel sorry for Leno. At this rate, Jimmy Fallon will mess around and take over The Tonight Show for three months in 2017, but then lose the show to Leno … who will immediately hand it over to Carson Daly as NBC merges with the CW. (February 2010)

-LOL. Laughing Out Loud. Who really laughs out loud reading stuff online?! I hate writing it because chances are, I’m not laughing. But I have to. It’s like a “mood-lightener” for me. It’s one of the most obvious crutches in online conversation! But I’m struggling to find an alternative for it. LOL! (February 09)

-In a related story, it appears that the advent of online communications is starting to influence how handwriting, especially cursive handwriting, is taught in schools. Youth send more texts and e-mails than even ten years ago, and it is argued that with everything else teachers have to teach, cursive handwriting might be in the process of phasing out. I originally bought this up on my most recent 1SKILLZ-FM, and I’ll say it again here: teachers and education majors, continue to teach handwriting! The fundamentals of learning were reading, writing, and arithmetic… you can’t take writing out! It’s bad enough that massive text messaging has made a few of y’all forget how to talk! And I’ve seen some of my teacher’s handwriting today… it’s barely legible! Penmanship is valuable. It should definitely be taught. Maybe not graded on, but definitely taught! (February 09)

-The day before my birthday I had another strange encounter with an older woman waiting for a bus in the dark cold streets of Philadelphia. I had just got done balling with Zeke, Q and his boy Brandon, and Kevin. I was waiting on the City Line by myself when this thick woman dressed in all black came stalking around a bend. She had a handcart and I honestly didn’t know it was a woman until she got to the bus stop. As soon as I saw her sit down on the ledge in front of the gate I had a feeling she was going to start talking with me. It’s something about waiting for SEPTA that just brings a conversation out of people. Anyway, I got around to talking about school (which was like pulling teeth because I try not to say anything bad about Cal U) and how it was my birthday the next day. Even though I knew I was going to be in New York I decided to tell her that I wasn’t sure what I was doing for my birthday (which was half-true actually, because I had no plans once I got to New York). She had been talking about how excited she was to find these hoodies for her plus-size sons, so she said that I should go treat myself to some new hoodies for my birthday. That was funny, just because I have more hoodies and jackets and coats then there are days in a week right now. She also said that I should take my girl out to the movies, which wouldn’t have been a bad idea if I actually had a girl to take to the movies. The best part of the whole conversation was when she told me about how she was taking an employee-related test. She asked me if school was hard, and I was honest when I said it’s not too hard unless you have time management issues. Not that what I said mattered, her story was going to remain the same. She was talking about how she had to take the test with all kinds of distractions, but it was funny how she tried to describe it: “You know…it’s HARD taking a test with all kinds of noise. RIGHT? It’s HARD, RIGHT? You have to be able to concentrate on what you’re doing, RIGHT? The test was timed also. That’s a lot of pressure, RIGHT???????? That was stressful. Wouldn’t that be a lot of stress? WOULDN’T IT???? You want to know how I did? DO YOU?!?! I passed, Thank the LORD, I passed. HARD WORK and the LORD’s BLESSING.” It almost sounded like she was threatening me with her experience! Eventually more people got to the bus stop and she told the exact same story to this other lady. That’s how it is, if you have a good story, you might as well tell it before you forget it. (February 08)

-Alisha said I have to talk about my Spanish class. She has a point. I talked about Spanish teachers last month (what didn’t I talk about last month?!) but Ribar is something else, “huh guys”? She is pretty disorganized, as we have seating charts now but we still take roll about 6 times a class, and she is innocently obnoxious: “Next time we all know what you are talking about, huh guys?!” It’ll be fun, I love Spanish teachers. As for my other classes, I have three online classes compared to three classes I actually have to go to. Best not to get behind in my Biology class, because my teacher is on the edge of retirement, doesn’t use e-mail, doesn’t use a phone, and doesn’t come to class. (February 07)

-Just a side note, Peyton Manning sucks after January 1st. (February 06)

-If anyone remembers the slow week back from winter break, they’ll see how this suggestion came about: what if school opened 4 hours late the first day back, and scaled back an hour as the first week went on, so that school starts normal time by the end of the week? I like to call it Gradual Break Countdown…I thought about it while daydreaming in History for five days straight. (February 05)

-Valentine’s Day is one of my least favorite holidays historically, because I screw up asking girls out and not thinking. Well, I have been thinking about what to do, but I’m going to let the day come to me. In future news, I have messed up another Valentine’s Day. (February 04)

-… A question that undoubtedly you’ve all heard before is “Do I know you?” It’s a simple question, but in my case, I was talking to this girl for a good 5 minutes before she thought to ask this question! You cannot ask this question and be serious. There is no satisfying answer to this question. You can say “Yes, you do know me” but obviously a previous encounter was too insignificant to matter. I prefer to just say “no, you don’t know me, would you like to get to know me?” Of course, if someone really wanted to get to know you, why would they ask the “Do I know you?” question in the first place? It would seem irrelevant right? I’m having a “Princess Bride” moment here, let me move on. (February 09)

-My mom’s birthday is this Sunday. Happy birthday Mom. This Sunday is also Super Bowl XLII. I said that I was going to wait until I released the MADDSKILLZ Update to make a Super Bowl pick between the undefeated New England Patriots and the resurgent New York Giants. Now let me recap the playoffs real quick. I went 4-1 on the AFC playoffs like last year, and 1-4 on the NFC playoffs, like last year. I DID say that False Player Reputation would curse Tony Romo once again. I’m not going to even talk about False Player Reputation that deep this month; I did that enough in last month’s update! And it was a year ago that I broke down False Player Reputation in detail, and it was during season 1 (The February 04 Update) where I first introduced the term. So refer to those updates if you still need to understand what False Player Reputation is. All I’m saying is that Tom Brady is at risk for being the next great victim of False Player Reputation, and combine that with his suspicious ankle condition, the fact that the Giants played the Patriots tougher than any other team this season (besides the Ravens, the team that I said in August would beat the Patriots in the AFC Championship), the fact that I think the Giants come into this game playing well against three good defenses from this past season, and the fact that the Giants’ pass rush has the ability to dictate a whole game, and I look for the Giants to win this game 30-24. Now I have to say, that would suck. There are some teams that I wouldn’t mind beating the undefeated Patriots. Being from Philly, the Giants are most definitely not one of them! And Eli Manning has always been one of my least favorite quarterbacks. He’s had three turnover free games in a row. I believe he will beat the Patriots if he doesn’t turn the ball over/the Giants win the turnover battle. I think they will. And it will make for one of the saddest Mondays in NFL history, because face it, if the Giants beat the Patriots, the bigger story will be the Patriots waiting until the Super Bowl to lose a game. That story has never been written before, I don’t believe. (February 08)

-UPN has merged with WB to form a new broadcast network, the CW. Finally, the end to the ignorant urban acronym that UPN was usually known by (UnderPaid Negroes). Now with the best of both networks on one channel we can finally have a channel that stands for something: Crap Whenever. (February 06)

-In tech news, Bill Gates is out for the season with a torn AOL… (February 05)

-First Paris Hilton, now Janet Jackson. Internet downloads replaced by record TiVo reviews. (February 04)

-Fun with lyrics, part 2: Michael Jackson’s troubles were detailed in part one of last month, so now I feature Ruben Studdard. He has his song “Sorry 2004”. Now, it’s a nice song, but the years going to be over in 10 months. What’s he going to do? I have suggestions for the next few years or so…”I’m sorry live, 2005″; or “I’m sorry for that (fill-in), 2006”; or “I’m sorry again, 2007”; or “I know I ate, 2008”; or “I’m runnin Outta time, 2009”; and finally, “Where have I been??? 2010”. (February 04)

-With last year’s Super Bowl in mind, FOX and the NFL has selected among others, Paul McCartney as the halftime entertainment. Which would make for a really bad wardrobe malfunction if you’re not a Beatlemania veteran. (February 05)

-Forget the moon… I say bring global warming on so that people can move to Antarctica! (February 09)

-I was going to go into the Tiger Woods/Kelly Tilghman/Golfweek story and talk about how it’s sensitive stupidity, but I’m pretty sure no one wants to hear that (and if you do you can e-mail me or hit me up on my new AIM SN x1maddskillz ). I’ve got a better story that fits the constructs of this MADDSKILLZ Update anyway; it’s about Koni’s kids. She was telling me how the teacher basically gets roughed up by some of the kids in the class that Koni assists. As usual, I had some damn terrible ideas to help her out. It’s a technique I like to call “vertical authority”! You get a professional bodybuilder (or some other strong man or woman) to enter the classroom on alert, and they immediately start bench pressing kids! No harm done, but they won’t know that! (RE: This is why I am NOT an Education major!) (February 08)

-Another thing that I’ve been “haunted” by is first impressions. I’m the WORST at first impressions, always have been. Either I make a bad first impression, a misleading first impression, or no first impression at all. That’s how it is. I take too long to show people what I’m about, unless that person makes up their mind that we’re not going to be compatible or whatever. I don’t even work on first impressions anymore. I change too much for that. I just work on second impressions! See, I’m versatile…blessing and a curse! (February 08)

-And finally, I had tickets to the Revolution but I couldn’t go, and apparently it wasn’t televised. (February 07)

LAST CALL (February 05): The last call goes out to the cast of THRILLER (a Andrew/Dwight Joint) for making that historical movie: Andrew (Michael Jackson/Producer), Dwight (Thriller/Robot/Producer), Pir (Werewolf/Director), Jordane (Billie Jean/Disappearing Goon), and Parker (one half of twin/Treemonster/Dancing Goon). Of course, no thanks to Justin. And one goes out to Brennan (the good twin) because he would’ve went on stage with me, instead of Parker, the evil twin. And one to Priya, who I apparently missed in Philly this past weekend (and also because the Eagles ended her Atlanta Falcons’ season). That’s all for now, enjoy the Black History Month, as well as the American Heart, as well as the Library Lovers, as well as the National Condom, as well as the National Wildbird Feeding Month that is February.

ONE SHOT (February 09): okay, 25 random things, Super Bowl XLIII edition:

1) Before I end the Update with my Super Bowl thoughts, I have to acknowledge that it’s Casey Checton’s birthday today. I told her that I wouldn’t forget about her like the rest of you!
2) I have correctly predicted the winners of the last three Super Bowls (I didn’t pick between the Eagles/Patriots).
3) Yes, that means I predicted the Steelers beating the Seahawks back in 2006. Here is what I said in that February 06 Update: Now is the appropriate time to address Super Bowl XL. Now for one, I mentioned that I am in West PA, which belongs to Pittsburgh. Now I have always liked the Steelers. I still do, and I think they will win the Super Bowl over Seattle. However, and I’ve waited 5 months to say this, the Steeler fans are the most preoccupied group of people I have ever been around. If you were here, you wouldn’t even know there were two teams playing in the Super Bowl. Hell you wouldn’t know that there is even a National Football Conference. Steeler fans SWEAR that there is only one team in the whole NFL just about. On a slightly different issue, is it just me, or is anyone else tired of hearing BOTH teams complain about a lack of respect? Seattle I can understand where they are coming from, being underdogs to a sixth seed, but that’s more reason to shut the hell up and play the damn game. And the Steelers should shut up until Monday morning. Jerome Bettis is going to the Super Bowl in his hometown, and the Steelers need more respect because of it. Joey Porter criticized everyone the entire postseason run, and he needs more respect? The Steelers became the first sixth seed to go to the Super Bowl, and they feel disrespected? Give me a remote control. Whoever loses this game should go into a cave and not come out for 6 months. So in closing, I’m picking Pittsburgh to win 26-21. But it would be a lot more fun if Seattle won. And if the commercials are worth remembering.

4) Steelers fans still bother me way more than the Steelers do.

5) I only know two real Cardinals fans, Dennis Kenney and Amanda Brown (who is more of a Matt Leinart fan unfortunately).

6) The Philadelphia Eagles are the Buffalo Bills of the NFC Championship. For those who need the clarification, the Buffalo Bills lost 4 straight Super Bowls in the early 1990s. The Eagles have lost 4 of 5 NFC Championships since 2001.

7) The Steelers lost to 4 teams this season: The Eagles, Giants, Colts, and Titans. Of course, the Colts blew their meeting with the Steelers by losing to an inferior Chargers team, the Titans blew their meeting with the Steelers by losing to a beat-up Ravens team, and the Giants lost to the Eagles, who in turn blew their meeting with the Steelers by getting torched by the Arizona Cardinals.

8 ) The Cardinals DID beat the Steelers last season 21-14, in Arizona. It was Mike Tomlin’s first loss. Cardinals WR Steve Breaston returned a punt for a touchdown, Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger threw 2 TDs and 2 INTs, Steelers WR Santonio Holmes put up over 100 yards receiving, and Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald had 10 catches.

9) The last time a Super Bowl featured a coach facing his old team was the Buccaneers/Raiders Super Bowl of 2003. Jon Gruden was the Buccaneers coach who had coached the Raiders the season before. The Buccaneers embarrassed the Raiders, forcing QB Rich Gannon to throw 5 interceptions.

10) Even though it has become common knowledge that I slept on the Steelers this season, I also slept on the Arizona Cardinals this season, saying that they would miss the playoffs. What happened Lawrence? For the Steelers, simply put, I underestimated Mike Tomlin, Roethlisberger didn’t get injured like I thought his offensive line would get him, and the defense not only stayed healthy, it dominated the NFL. Also, it didn’t hurt that the Ravens started a rookie quarterback (which only mattered in Steelers/Ravens games, the ones that mattered most though), and that the Bengals and Browns offenses were ravaged by injuries. As for the Cardinals? Anquan Boldin didn’t get traded like I thought he would have. That and Mike Singletary didn’t start coaching the 49ers until after they were 2-5.

11) The Cardinals disgusted me with their 47-7 loss to the New England Patriots. But they obviously are a different team since then. They came from behind to beat the Seahawks in their season finale, beat the Falcons and their MVP candidate running back Michael Turner, went to the East coast and embarrassed the Panthers, and turned “John Elway” Donovan McNabb into “Jim Kelly” Donovan McNabb.

12) The Steelers job was to beat the Chargers and the Ravens. They did their job. Nothing special. The Chargers were not winning a cold weather, Eastern game without LaDainian Tomlinson. And the Ravens were hurt and tired, having not been off since Hurricane Ike! Considering those facts, no way the Steelers lose those games.

13) The Cardinals won their three playoff games with three main factors: stop the run, force turnovers, and Larry Fitzgerald. Falcons rookie QB Matt Ryan, as good as he was this season, was not prepared to win the game on his own after Turner was shut down. Panthers QB Jake Delhomme had a solid season, but he also relied on his running backs DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart. Delhomme’s turnovers (and Fitzgerald’s first half dominance WITHOUT Boldin) basically took the running backs out of the gameplan. The Eagles don’t run the ball anyway, and eventually McNabb put up numbers on the Cards. But McNabb still turned the ball over twice. And Larry Fitzgerald still torched them with three first-half touchdowns.

14) The similarities between Anquan Boldin and Hines Ward are notable. Both played some quarterback in college, both are possession type receivers, both exude great toughness, both are very physical, both block well. And both have played under Ken Whisenhunt.

15) The last time the Cardinals faced a 3-4 defense was when they were getting the snow kicked on them in New England.

16) The Cardinals DID stop some notable pass rushers in the playoffs. John Abraham (Falcons) and Julius Peppers (Panthers) were shut down by the Cardinals offensive line. And the Eagles pass rush from all over the place. Their blitz happy scheme blew up in their face on a play called “Philly Special”.

17) I think Steelers TE Heath Miller will have a huge game. The Falcons and Panthers lacked a threat at tight end. McNabb found Eagles TE Brent Celek for 10 catches though, and Miller is a better player than Celek.

18) I also expect Santonio Holmes and/or Steelers WR Nate Washington to get deep at least once in this game. Falcons WR Roddy White had a big game against the Cardinals secondary, Panthers WR Steve Smith was quiet when it mattered but did draw a long pass interference penalty against Cards FS Antrel Rolle when it still mattered, and Eagles rookie WR caught a long 4th quarter touchdown pass that momentarily put the Eagles up in that game.

19) The Steelers recorded an outstanding defensive season. They didn’t face many good quarterbacks though, and the two times they faced Philip Rivers was in bad Pittsburgh weather! The weather in Tampa won’t be Pittsburgh weather. But here are the quarterbacks that the Steelers faced this season that are arguably as good as Kurt Warner: Matt Schaub (only included here because of Andre Johnson, a receiver comparable to Larry Fitzgerald; the Steelers forced turnovers and blew them out), Donovan McNabb (Eagles won), Eli Manning (only included here because of Plaxico Burress pre-gunshot, Giants won), Peyton Manning (Colts won), Philip Rivers twice (both Steelers wins), Matt Cassell (only included here because of Randy Moss and Wes Welker, Steelers won), and Tony Romo (Steelers won). If you take away Rivers and the “stretch” quarterbacks, the Steelers were 2-1. A winning record, but a small sample size, meaning anything can happen.

20) I’m not sure how the Steelers will defend Larry Fitzgerald. Specifically, I don’t know what role Troy Polamalu will have in defending Larry Fitzgerald. You can trust that he’ll be coming after Warner though.

21) Cardinals safety Adrian Wilson might be a better pass-rusher than Polamalu, but Polamalu is better in coverage.

22) Kurt Warner is married AND monogamous, which would exclude him from False Player Reputation (something that has befallen fellow QBs Tony Romo and Tom Brady). HOWEVER, backup QB Matt Leinart is the definition of False Player Reputation. So much so that it overlaps the pros of Warner.

23) I’d rather see the Cardinals win their first title in 61 years than see the Steelers win a record 6th Super Bowl. This is like Arizona Diamondbacks versus New York Yankees again!

24) Alas, there is no way that this defense lets Larry Fitzgerald, Kurt Warner, and Anquan Boldin win this game. And for those thinking 2008 is the year of miracles…it is 2009 now.

25) Pittsburgh Steelers 24, Arizona Cardinals 20.

This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Sent to Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts, and New York, and Florida, and Georgia, and everywhere else…WHOOOAOAAOOA!!!
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Break this heart if you want to…
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Who needs a copyright when you can have a Xerox left.
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Easy enough.
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Diversify!
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. Guaranteed or my money back.
This has been a MADDSKILLZ Update. LA or bust…